Monthly Takeaway — May
lessons & reflections
Hello from far away <3
Summer is slowly tiptoeing in. Do you feel it? I for sure do, given the fact that I have a farmer’s tan from being outside here in my special place — which I have yet to reveal.
This month has been about surrendering.
I’ve logged out of social media, deleted WhatsApp and have been updating my dear ones via email every 4 or 5 days. It feels so good to open my phone in the morning and not receive any notifications. Maybe it’s the fact that I know nothing will surprise or disappoint me. But I have to say, emailing is probably my new favourite thing.
Writing an email takes time, effort and thought. You want to make sure you’re painting the picture clearly and that it’s enjoyable for your dear one to read. It’s not like a message you can just dump and hit send without punctuation, or a voicemail which is basically 50% umms and ahhs. Actually, it kind of feels therapeutic. Once you get into the flow-state of writing, you start reflecting on the story you’re telling and realise, wow actually, I had a great week.
Also, I noticed, we’re so quick to say something negative in a text or a voicemail. It doesn’t even cross my mind when I’m writing an email! Maybe it’s because I know the person will open a big chunk of text, and I want the experience to be pleasurable. Maybe it’s because deep down, those little annoying moments aren’t even worth it. Sure, it’s funny to tell a story that takes a toll, make a joke out of it or actually just speak the (sometimes unfortunate) truth. But an email will always end with a smile.
I love receiving them, too. As I read the paragraphs, I can hear their voices, somehow clearer than I would in a voicemail. I smile, laugh out loud, and sometimes even cry because it’s just SO them. It’s why I love writing. You can’t fake it, and it feels inauthentic to use AI.
I think it’s undivided attention that makes it so pure, too. You can’t half-ass read an email, but you can be putting on makeup, getting dressed or even grocery shopping when listening to a voicemail. It makes me so excited to hug them when I get back.
MAY
How Lucky Am I?!
I’m completely out of routine here. I haven’t seen a gym in almost 3 weeks, I haven’t been on a single run, and I haven’t made a single meal myself. A couple years ago, that would have freaked me out. I’m surrendering to the purity of life. Sometimes, the power goes out and I have to sit in the dark for 45 minutes. There’s nothing I can do. Complaining doesn’t get me anywhere. All I can do is surrender. I won’t lie, it’s challenging at times.
I realised that actually most of the things I do are comfort habits. They’re things that I have to avoid feeling worried or stressed. Taking away all of that and being faced with an entirely fresh world where every day looks different, you really need to tame your mind and train it through meditation to reassure yourself that no matter what happens, everything is okay.
On the other hand, living rurally has opened my eyes so much, I’m ever so grateful for the life I have at home. I often find myself wishing for the things I used to complain or be afraid of like hearing the police sirens at night or running into people I know on the street. Now I think to myself, why would anyone complain about that? I live in a city that is safe enough to protect me even in the quietest hour, and am blessed enough to walk the same streets as my loved ones.
How lucky am I?
I learned that I don’t need a set of dumbbells for my workout to count, a running path or a treadmill. In fact, the unpaved forrest path will do and so will a 1.5L water bottle per arm. Just load on your reps! I actually think I’ve seen better results, but it’s not because of what it is. It’s the presence and the connection to the practice — and I feel so much better!
From now on
no more zombie workouts, full presence only
compassion beyond measure, after all, I am my very best friend
i see that everything I need is right in front of me
GET OUT INTO NATURE!!!!
Desire is the main cause of suffering. Therefore, I surrender and choose to accept what I have and love it unconditionally for I’ll never know when it’ll slip from my hands again.
Do with that what you will. I can’t wait to tell you more about my journey. In the meantime, surrender and look at the beautiful life you have. Not to be cringe but the grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s only greener where you water it. Why is every cringe quote so damn true?!
I hope you all had a beautiful May… Tomorrow marks the first day of June, which in my eyes is the first day of summer. The best season ever.
Let’s make it a good one <3
Lots of Love,
Fabi <3